Kong Strikes Back

"After being turned down for a part in the Kong re-make in favour of an electronic toy, I moved into the arcades and used my brute strength to push Space Invaders and Pacman out of the top machines. But, now, two years on, Kong Strikes Back seems a poor follow-up.

"Things have certainly changed around here since I was captured in Kong.

In the original game, I dumped my victim at the top of some scaffolding, and ended up throwing barrels, fireballs and everything else I could find down at ol' 'stickman' (as I used to call him!) This time, I've lugged her, screaming, to the highest place I can find in a fairground - the roller coaster! I have this feeling that I should be looking around for my old stomping ground - the Empire State Building - where I've spent many an enchanted evening with Faye and Jessica, but the people at Ocean assure me that that's irrelevant!

Back to the fairground and the hero of the piece (which isn't me, heh heh!) is trying to climb the roller coaster. Hmm, he seems to have put some weight on since last time we met - which should make all the more difficult for him to avoid the four cars I'm setting in motion. Gnash, gnash -- he's only got those bombs again ... still, he's only got four of them, so he'll have to watch out on the next level.

Talking of putting on weight, I must say I look a little more substantial than did in Kong. Which is something I console myself with when I see how little imagination has gone into the four levels of play - OK, there are pies, springs and roller coasters cars ... but it does get a bit repetitive!

If Ocean can't do better than this, I'm back off to the jungle - maybe, me and my old big-screen chum, Faye Raye, can get a part of the latest Tarzan re-make!"