Ms. Pac-Man

Roger: As the Greater London Council and page seven of The Guardian never cease to remind us, God was obviously a woman. And so, we are now told, was the 'Original Atari Arcade Classic.

However, before your imagination's run riot, there's not a 'lady bump' in sight. Which is surprising really since she must be bursting out all over, considering her diet of interminable dots, intermittent fruit and interestingly aggressive energy pills. But never mind, because fat is, after all, an acceptably feminist issue.

What started out as a simple screen for simple minds can be viewed through playground perspectives by pageboys or sucked dry of innuendo cred by Page Three readers. After all, pills that can be consumed prior to the termination of blinking phantom breath have got to be twinning the jolly old entendres, haven't they? Ignore this intellectual flatulence. Ms Pacperson is a seminal and shapely (oops!) figure in micro software history. Put her in the display case next to your mainframe! 5/5 HIT

Ross: Surprisingly, this offering from Atarisoft is much better value and a superior program to its original Pacman! 3/5 MISS

Dave: I loved Pacman when it first came out, and I'm sure I'd have loved this one - if only Atarisoft had changed a little more than Pacman's sex! 2/5 MISS